John @#$%&* Kerry

John Kerry just won't quit. Except that he did quit, or more accurately, he conceded. Maybe I should instead say that he won't go away. I want him to do that. Go away. He got my vote, some of my money, and some of my time and energy. It will likely be the last bit of money, and is surely the last bit of time or energy that I will ever give to a political campaign. Unless, that is, someone in my family runs for office. I just hope we're smarter than that. I wanted Kerry to win; oh how I wanted it. If only he had only screwed up half of the time, instead of three-quarters of the time. If only, if only, if only. As Donald Rumsfeld would say - "Am I disappointed in the outcome of the election? Yes. Do I blame Kerry's incompetence for the loss? Why, yes. Yes I do."

Now I'm just disaffected and annoyed by the frightening predictability and incredible hubris that holds sway at the White House. All I can do is avert my gaze, and focus on other things. I wanted to believe that our first child, whom we hope to deliver in late July or early August, would be born under a different president, as overly-dramatic as that may sound. We have replaced the confrontation between blue and red with the anticipation of either pink or blue. My eyes don't get tired reading the news anymore, because I'm reading less and less of it. Where I once read the Washington Times to balance the New York Times, I am now reading Huxley to balance Orwell and Jay Mariotti to balance Sam Smith. I want to forget Kerry/Edwards, the two Americas, the margin of error for polling data in Iowa, and the wretched little tyrant still at 1600.

It's quite apparent to me that Kerry is aware of this sentiment, and wants not to be forgotten. There he was on the Senate Foreign Relations panel, questioning Condy Rice and, with characteristic pomposity, telling the world about his post-defeat travels to the Middle East. Gee, Senator, doesn't that mean you were just doing your job as a member of that committee? Aren't foreign relations about relating with people in foreign nations? Do you want a medal for going over there? Oh wait - you've already got a bunch of medals. You were in Vietnam, right? I heard that somewhere. Heard it from you, those Swift Boat nuts, Jamie Rubin, Max Cleland, and everyone else in your campaign. Over and over and over. Vietnam. Reporting for duty. Silver Star. Bronze Medal. Okay, okay. You went to war and you fought. You're on the Foreign Relations Committee and you go abroad. Call him Senator Obvious, call him John @#$%&* Kerry, call him Mr. Heinz-Kerry, whatever. Just don't call him Mr. President.

This Sunday, the junior Senator from Massachusetts will appear on Meet the Press, where he is sure to overstate the obvious, and belabor whatever point he wants to make. His delivery style reminds me of the death scene in Monty Python's opus "The Meaning of Life." The Grim Reaper visits a remote dinner party in England to tell everyone that they have died, but they don't understand what he's talking about. An American at the party keeps interrupting the Reaper, which finally infuriates the Grim one. He jabs a bony finger in the American's face and growls "Shut up! Shut up you American. You always talk, you Americans, you talk and you talk and say 'Let me tell you something' and 'I just wanna say this', Well you're dead now, so shut up!"

© 2005 by justin michael cresswell